You updated your resume, landed the interview, passed with flying colors, and got the job offer of your dreams. You’re excited about the opportunity and eager to dive into the work. There’s just one step between you and the next stage of your career: telling your current employer you’re leaving.
For most people, not an easy conversation to have. But you work with your recruiter to plan your exit and finally communicate your plans to your current company, giving them your two-weeks’ notice.
Cue panic on their end, then a counteroffer:
“We were just about to offer you that promotion you’ve been asking for!”
“What if we offer you a raise, plus a more substantial annual bonus?”
“I can’t believe you would abandon us like this. We’re like a family at this company! Is this how you treat your family?”
Yikes. Time to figure out what to do.
A Broken, Predictable Record
We see this all the time, and no matter the industry, level of seniority, or position title, it comes down to at least one of these four categories:
Money
Months ago you asked them for a raise and they turned you down. Maybe it “wasn’t in the budget,” or they “needed to see greater value generated” so they can “justify it to management.” In some cases, they might even offer a 50% compensation increase to incentivize you to stay.
No matter the circumstances, there’s one critical question to ask yourself: Why didn’t they offer it sooner? They could have offered higher compensation or a better bonus at any time, but they chose to wait until you had both feet out the door and were waving “farewell” from across the threshold. Those aren’t the actions of a company who truly values your contributions.
Love
They’ll all miss you so much. Nothing will be the same without you. You’re the glue that holds them together. You’re the heart of your team. There are a million ways to say it, and there’s likely some underlying truth there: there are emotional bonds connecting you with the people you’ve worked with for however long you’ve been in your role.
It’s okay to care about your coworkers, team members, and even bosses. And it seems fair to assume the majority of people who change jobs aren’t doing so with the specific intention to cause harm or pain to the people they’re leaving behind. But people are responsible for their own emotions, and, first and foremost, your responsibility needs to be your own well-being.
Promotion
This one can be a major gut-punch. You’ve been asking for months, sometimes years, for additional responsibilities. Opportunities for growth. Some sign that there’s a future for you at the company beyond the constraints of your current role. Then suddenly it’s practically presented to you on a silver platter:
“Well, we weren’t going to share this yet, but since you’re thinking of leaving… You’re up for a promotion, and we’re prepared to fast-track it if you stay.”
All the politics and systems in place that prevented your promotion up to this point are still there. Structurally, nothing meaningful about the organization has changed. You might have gotten what you wanted…for now. But now they know you’re willing to consider leaving for the right opportunity. That makes you more of a “flight risk,” which could stanch any future growth in the company.
Special Projects
Oh, wow! Your manager suddenly has a “super-secret project” they’ve been working on that they were hoping to bring you in on! The timing of your exit just happened to be so unfortunate. Maybe if you decide to stay, they can still pull some strings to get you in on it… Or maybe it’s a last-ditch effort to retain your knowledge and skillset.
It’s possible they do have a new project, and they might have planned to tag you in. But if they didn’t include you in any ongoing conversations and are conveniently only bringing it up when you’re finally ready to move on, it’s pretty clear that their intentions are a bit suspect. If it’s suddenly in a place where they’re ready to bring you in, what’s stopped them from doing so sooner?
Preparing Yourself in Advance
The reality of the counteroffer is that it isn’t about you. It’s about them. Specifically, they’re buying themselves time to figure out what to do, and—in some cases—find your replacement. They’re following their playbook. You need to establish your own game plan.
Make a Plan
Emotions are powerful, and it’s easy for them to get away from you. Establishing a plan before initiating the conversation about your departure can give you a leg-up on any emotional reactions that may arise.
Start with the basics. Define who you need to talk to and how you need to communicate with them. While an in-person conversation has historically been the standard, with the rise of hybrid work environments some of those “best practices” have evolved. In some cases, a video call could be the best option. While phone calls are still acceptable, we generally only recommend them as a last resort. Even though you’re leaving, we want to avoid burning bridges whenever possible!
Draft an Email
It’s always a good idea to have a paper trail when leaving a role. Regardless of how you plan to communicate your plans, prepare an email in advance so you can follow up with your boss and HR right away.
There’s no single “perfect” way to write this follow-up email, but hit on a couple key points:
- You’ve accepted a position with a new organization.
- You’re grateful for the opportunity to have worked at [soon-to-be-former company].
- You’ve thought through this choice thoroughly and your decision is final.
- The date of your last day, whether you’re providing them with two weeks’ notice (standard best practice) or if your notice is effective immediately (also acceptable).
Steel Your Resolve
Resignations can be emotional conversations. The night before, take a moment to remember why you started interviewing elsewhere in the first place. The reality is that the problems you were looking to escape will still be there, even if you have higher compensation or are working on interesting new projects.
Time and time again we’ve seen a candidate who took the counteroffer get replaced three, six, 18 months later with someone the company feels will be “more dedicated to the company,” or who “better suits their strategic vision.” And if they do decide to replace you? You won’t have the luxury of offering them a counteroffer in order to stay.
Plan Your Responses
Here’s your real homework: spend 15 minutes the night before thinking through exactly what to say in response to the four playbook moves (Money, Love, Promotion, Special Projects). Bonus points if you write them down! Not typing. Writing them down physically.
Writing notes by hand has been repeatedly shown to aid in memory recall in a way typing doesn’t, and you’ll be more likely to remember your planned responses if you physically write them down.
Communicate Clearly
The goal is to make a graceful exit without burning the bridges you’ve built during your tenure. That requires communicating calmly, clearly, and avoiding jabs or personal attacks. Simply, you’re informing them that you’re leaving, you appreciate what they’ve done for you, your decision is final, and you hope they can respect your choice.
The Ball’s in Your Court
We get it. We may not seem like an objective third party here when we get paid for each placement we make. But beyond being recruiters, we’re a team of employees, and many of us have been in the exact position you’re in now. When it comes to accepting a counteroffer from your current company, we really do have our candidate’s best interests in mind.
Losing you is an inconvenience to the company, but the greater issue is losing you before they’ve had a chance to fully prepare for your departure. To be entirely prepared for a version of the company without you. That’s why we recommend providing advance notice of your last day whenever possible; it’s your way of extending an olive branch, of sorts, before stepping into the next leg of your career journey. But when underlying issues remain in your previous role, we strongly encourage you to take that next step when it’s offered. After all, you’ve earned it.
Change is hard, and changing jobs or even entire career paths can be incredibly uncomfortable. But a wise person once said that growth begins just past the edge of our comfort zone. The world is full of possibility if we’re brave enough to reach out and take it.
